I weighed 233lb at my highest. I would say 106kg, because in Srilanka we usually do weigh in by Kg’s and not pounds. So I am more used to using kg’s. Before the weigh-in this time I was 96 Kg. It still didn’t hit me MUCH. I knew I was going the wrong way, but I was… What should I say? Too lazy maybe? Yes, I was too lazy to start exercising and eating healthy food.
So when I passed the 100th mark, I freaked out! I was so depressed, I should say.
I DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT!
1) I STARTED GETTING SICK
I was diagnosed with fatty liver, stage 2.
I had symptoms of PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome).
Doctors said that there is a higher possibilty of me getting Diabetes in my mid 20’s because of my heavy weight and family medical history.
Enough right? Yes, I felt so too. I knew at this point that I SHOULD bid good-bye to my chocolate filled (Oh how sad.) milk-shake lifestyle. I DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT
2) I STARTED AVOIDING SOCIAL GATHERINGS
Most of my life I was not that party-girl. I didn’t like going to parties. I ignored them. I did everything out of my power to avoid those.
But secretly, deep inside me I did want to go. I wanted to go out and enjoy.
I gave it a bit of thought and I realized, It’s not that I don’t like parties, It’s just that I don’t feel confident. Yes, my self-esteem was reaching out the bottoms of the ocean. I was not really me. I was blaming my life on my big-body. I don’t see myself as ugly (no, I don’t think I’m supermodel pretty too!). I knew I could wear pretty clothes like other girls, but I felt so uncomfortable.
Most of my clothes were baggy enough to cover my big belly.
This was the time to change. I never wanted me to hide out from the outer world, ashamed of my big body. I DECIDED TO LOSE WEIGHT.
3) I WAS DEPRESSED
I became mad at EVERYONE around me. I fought with my mother, my sister, brother and NOT my father of course (I didn’t wanna deal with the consequences that follows a fight with him. lol). My relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks and I realized it was not his fault, but only mine. We didn’t have any problem but everytime I was upset about my body, I blamed it on him.
Do you feel me? I know many girls who are going through these stages.
I realized I was getting depressed. Even for the very small matters I thought of suicide (but never had the courage to do so, thank god!) I knew at that point I needed a change. A change in something that has been troubling me since I was born. Yes, I was heavy FROM birth.
I decided to say good-bye to the fatties lying within me.
4) I COULDN’T WEAR WHAT I WANTED
I was not comfortable with leggings, but wanted to wear them.
I was not comfortable with dresses, but wanted to wear them.
I was not comfortable with body-shape-defining clothes, but wanted to wear them.
I was not comfortable with swimming kits, but wanted to wear them.
Pretty things were and still are my obsession. I love wearing pretty clothes. But I noticed my wardrobe slowly shifting from splashy colors to just black and white or dull colors. I was comfortable, wearing baggy clothes because they covered all the area which I wanted covered.
My self esteem was slowly going down and I didn’t like it. SO I decided that it was high time that I worked out something on my weight.
5) I ENVIED THOSE GIRLS WITH FIT BODIES ON INSTAGRAM
Instagram is heaven. I should say. It is for everyone. It’s so motivating, Seeing those fitness seeking healthy ladies out there, I knew I wanted to be like them. I saw me as them in the future. I wanted to inspire many others who are in need of constant motivation. For those who needed to be reminded that they are loved.
6) MY BOYFRIEND WAS A FITNESS FREAK. LOL!
No, he never said anything about me being fat. In fact he wanted me to stay so because I was so comfy. My friends at school used to tease me saying “your boyfriend is so lucky, because you feel like a pillow”.
I loved those comments. Complements, maybe. But having a boyfriend who is fit, I didn’t want to look or feel old when I’m with him. I wanted to be comfortable going in public with him. I got used to that. But still, I feel the need to lose so much of weight.
Anyways, I’m lucky! He IS very helpful in my journey of eating and living healthy and losing weight.
7) I WANTED TO WEAR PRETTY HEELS, WHICH IS NOT A WEDGE.
I remember being so embarrassed because the heel of my newly bought shoes bended because of my weight. I never wore a high heeled shoe after that, unless it was a wedge. My shoe collection was ALL wedges. How depressing is that?
So yes, I decided to lose my weight. And I am working towards it. I hope I could do it. And yeah, this is my story. What’s your story? Share with me why you decided to lose weight? What motivates you? Share with us, in the comments section.